Retiring to Mazatlan: Life

I recently heard from two friends who are about to become grandparents, (too early) and it got me to thinking of all the things our parents never told us....

and some of the things they did.

20) Unprotected sex = baby = 20 long years.
Of course there was the masturbating and hairy hands/crossed eyes stories.
But the new one is, oral sex will cause their teeth to fall out. (This will be of no use if your child has bad teeth to start with.)

19) Alot of school subjects were lame. They should have been teaching us career choices, Real Estate, investing and interest rates. We should have been shown how to save for a house instead of renting when we left our parents house. (Today this should be taught early to help ensure ‘no returns’ and coupled with #20 they won’t return with children either.)

18) Yes we were grounded (some more than others) but nobody told us to think twice before uttering those words...You're grounded...It's definitely harder on the parent than the child!

17) We should have been encouraged to be nicer to all those kids we went to school with years ago because those same people eventually became our doctors, politicians, cops, lawyers and even our boss. Who would have thought our crazy friends would be in charge of anything!

16) We were told a kid having a job was a good thing and teaches responsibility. True, but today parents should also hold back 50% of their kids wages to teach them about the real pay cheque. (They’ll complain about this but so do we.) *Keep it in an account. Don't tell them about it but give it to them when they move out.*

15) I was told camping was fun??!!

14) We weren't told that by begging for our drivers license early, it would guarantee a lifetime of driving our kids everywhere.

So, at a young age introduce and then re-introduce your kids to their feet! Then remind them that your car is not part of their body. It doesn't need exercise everyday.

13) Remind your kids that if they don’t learn how to look after their pets, how are they ever going to look after a baby.

12) We all had big dreams as kids but nobody told us that sitting on the couch and watching TV all the time would give us a big butt. (This one works better on the female child and has no effect on any adult male in the house.)

11) Getting a degree isn't cheap and doesn't guarantee a job. Think practical career choice.

10) Making alot of money just gives you another worry...like what's your accountant doing with your money.

9) Pregnancy can be beautiful for 9 months, and babies are cute for 2 years. So for almost 3 years it’s great and then real life kicks in...
stretch marks don’t go away..the frown lines get deeper..sleep is a thing of the past, only to be taken over by worry...and the baby weight...it's now what you have forever.

8) Your ears, nose and feet never stop growing. Hair does fall out but will later grow where you didn’t expect it.

7) An allowance isn't a right of birth. Do something around the house and you'll get an allowance. Do nothing and get the same. Your house is NOT a welfare state.

6) Teach your kids and spouse religiously about kindness, empathy and patience...because one of them will be looking after you in your old age.

5) When you encourage your kids to use their imagination, to relax and not grow up so fast...it also means you better have a really good retirement plan.