Retiring to Mazatlan: Diving vs shopping

First let me say, Hub is an excellent diver, a scuba diving instructor actually. He's very methodical and patient with all his students...and then he tried to get me involved.

‘Come on, it'll be great.Just imagine it ..underwater ...together...’ as he coo's in my ear.

“I can't hear you.”

Trying another tactic he suggests...
‘How ‘bout we go shopping?’

“It's a miracle...my hearing is back!”

Now with great calm he informs me...‘So, the gear can be all colour co-ordinated, and in great, florescent colours!’

“Ohhh you're serious? Me...in a dive shop? Forget it Cousteau. I'm sooo outta here!”

Calmly he grabs my arm...‘At least try it once. You might even like it.’

And so he gathers up his equipment and I get into the gear at the neighbours pool...

Going thru a checklist he asks...
‘Fins feel ok?’

“They’ll do.”

Looking at me softly in the eyes he advises me...‘Now, because you are very buoyant you’ll have to wear these extra weights.’

“You better not be telling me what I think you’re telling me!!!!”

Already in his gear he jumps back for safety...‘Of course not! Now, take the mask and spit into it.’

“Ewwww that's just disgusting. You do it.”

‘Fine. Give me that mask...*He spits into the mask and hands it back to me* Now put it on.’

“This doesn’t seem very hygienic to me, fella.”

‘Just do it.’

So, being a good sport and knowing if I didn’t do it I would spend the next 20 years hearing how I chickened out...I, Linda, being of sound mind, gathered up all my courage and went to the bottom of the pool....for 45 seconds...

...and came up screaming...after I got the mouth piece thingy outta my mouth I informed the neighbourhood “I’m soooo outta here Cousteau...and get this damn thing off me!”